How Can I Title This?

(In honor of unrolled beards)

I never thought I would be writing like this, but then these types of things are rarely thought of: they just are. To write like this is not easy for me – actually it’s very hard – but I think my ease does not really hold precedent in this post.

Sun setting, airplanes droning, people circling, seven blessing, ring fingering, glass breaking, everybody Mazal Toving, and I stand somewhat detached, not feeling much, not wanting to feel much. Happy? Yes. But somewhat of a generic happiness – how nice these two people married – nothing that I cannot handle.

And then we are dancing in a manic circle, like a vortex pulling us into an unknown abyss, and emotion wells up in my heart, now it threatens to spill over and out of my eyelids. I have never felt so much joy for somebody else. I have never felt so much joy for myself. I cannot explain it. Period.

But how will it look if I cry, so I have another drink: alcohol was always the best scapegoat, emotion’s designated decoy. Oh, but I’m drunk on happiness and joy and it takes a lot of booze to sober me up.

And I dance. Most people cannot tell how happy I am, and that’s the way I like it. Of course some can, but those that can are just as happy as I am.

I don’t know, dear reader, if you realize how difficult it is for the words to come and, when they do come, how difficult it is to put them on paper. An inner battle – do or do I not show this side – one that, as your reading proves, the “personal” side has won.

But this is not about me – if it were I would never be able to write this – it is about two halves (one of which I’ve had the honor of dorming with for two years) coming together to form a complete whole.

May you have much happiness and joy and whatever the hell you want on your journey together through life…

Ok, let me publish this before I lose my guts.

p.s. sorry for kicking your ankle.