Tuesday, August 29, 2006

The Amateur

I saw a man today was down on a knee.
He wasn’t praying, nor was it blasphemy.
I wondered maybe he was a little cuckoo –
His fingers were tying the lace of his shoe.

I saw a woman today sitting on a bench.
She wasn’t clean, nor was there a stench.
I wondered if maybe she was jesting –
I could swear she was off her feet resting.

I saw a girl today pushing a carriage.
She wasn’t in love, nor was it marriage.
I wondered if maybe she was a quitter –
She had a sign that said, “babysitter”.

I saw a guy today had stains on his pants.
He wasn’t hip, nor was it askance.
I wondered if maybe he was a bummer –
The letters on his van said he was a plumber.

I saw a teen today give someone the finger.
He wasn’t rude, nor was he a bling-blinger.
I wondered if I might not understand –
The above finger was really a hand.

I saw an adult today wearing a mask.
He wasn’t a thief, nor did I ask.
I wondered if it was even possible –
He walked straight into a hospital.

I saw a man today pointing a stick.
He wasn’t threatening, nor was it thick.
I wondered if I was losing my mind –
His sunglasses reflected he was blind.

I saw a boy today was writing poetry.
He wasn’t very versified, nor did it rhyme.
I wondered why he wasn’t my soup-de-jour –
It seems he is only an amateur.

16 Comments:

Blogger trixies86 said...

you do rhyme though. its like that game, but I can't remember what its called. It was in this book I read called maybe a gohst story. except the masked guy was a catcher.

8/29/2006 12:53 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

nice n' cute

8/29/2006 2:34 PM  
Blogger the sabra said...

dan lechaf..i like this alot...i like ur way of thinkin..

8/30/2006 8:26 PM  
Anonymous wewantmoshiachnow said...

yafeh meod

8/31/2006 3:32 AM  
Blogger Dovid said...

Yah.. Never be quick to judge... (that is your point, right?)
Yafeh meod.

8/31/2006 7:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

hospital
possible

ur stretching it man.

"i saw a boy today writing poetry"

ur lucky its poetry cuz that sentence doesnt make sense.
in fact the first sentence of every part doesn't.
i saw an adult today. wearing a mask? who is wearing the mask, you or the man?

but its all cool

9/01/2006 2:11 AM  
Blogger jakeyology said...

trix: its not about the rhyme but why we use the words we do.

anon1: cute always works for the ambiguous comment.

sabra: ah dank.

wewant: thnx.

dovid: point? it's not about my point but yours.
that's poetry: more reader than writer!

anon2: the point of living is to stretch it; i hope you dont shrink it.

my friend, dont you think "not making sense" can also be done on purpose? it seems, from your question of who is wearing the mask, that you understood the "insensible" point of mine (and all those "incomprehensible" first sentences).

if you did not understand the poem, why is it all cool?

9/01/2006 5:11 AM  
Anonymous m said...

jaki nice poem, very cute. it broght a smile to my face when i was reading your nice poem.

9/01/2006 12:07 PM  
Blogger FrumGirl said...

amatuer or not you are perceptive.

9/03/2006 9:39 PM  
Blogger twilight770 said...

it is easy not to judge others but what about our selfs? no but realy, very nice! talent runs in the class...

9/04/2006 2:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

talent runs in the class?!! why didn't i get any. poor iq'less me. well at least i got a new pet monkey. albeit stuffed. maybe if i get another, and leave 'em long enough they'll evolve into stuffed humans. i think i'll try.

9/04/2006 2:46 AM  
Blogger Dr Sooll said...

Beautiful!!
Even if this poem wasn't a masterpiece in terms of the writing, the tochen is second to none. I think everyone should read this poem every morning.
Truly outstanding.
Thank you!

9/05/2006 12:02 AM  
Blogger jakeyology said...

thnx to m and frumgirl.

twilight: talent runs in the class? and all this time i thought myself unique :)

anon: u have a good sense of humor and, if that's not enough, you definitely have a knack for anonymous commenting :)

dr. sool: i have to agree with you about the writing (otherwise it wouldn’t be amateurish) but (out of humility) i may have to disagree about reading it every morning, but i do thank u for the wonderful compliment.

9/05/2006 2:19 AM  
Blogger Dr Sooll said...

jakeyology: From the first brackets in your response, it appears that you may not actually be agreeing with me about the writing.

My understanding is that you are saying that the writing is not that good which is why it is amateurish.

My comment "Even if this poem wasn't a masterpiece in terms of the writing..........." is saying that it is in fact a masterpiece, but even if it hadn't been.........

9/05/2006 8:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i actually haven't any qualms being un-anonymous, i'm just too lazy to sign in or type something into the "other" category.

9/05/2006 9:44 PM  
Blogger jakeyology said...

dr. sool: wow!!! you are too good for me. i misunderstood you, but now that i've gotten it... you make me blush :)

anon: i know exactly what you mean.

i really do like anonymous comments though - they allow my imagination to create mysterious secret admirers :)

9/06/2006 2:23 PM  

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